Fear and a Selfish Prayer

I dread public speaking. My pride has taken several strong blows from previous experiences; I just don’t like stuttering and stammering in front of people. So, knowing that I would need to speak @ the Fathers of Providence meeting last Thursday got me stressed a bit, maybe even a “little” scared.

As I was making the drive from Springdale to Rogers I had plenty of time to think about the situation. Thinking only makes things worse, so I prayed. “God, will you help me not be fearful when I get up in front of these men tonight?”

When thinking of my prayer in context, I realized God saw through my words and probably heard “God, don’t let me be embarrassed again. Protect my pride.” ...Hmmmm… That sounds awfully selfish and shameful when you think about it that way…

“God, why do I fear? Will you help me, but not for my selfish reasons… Father……..”

[Light bulb!] Jesus! Jesus wasn’t afraid when He was a man. Why not?

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18 – NIV)

Jesus did not fear because He always knew that He was loved by His Father. Jesus didn’t fear because He was so greatly loved by His father! He was loved! Wait, what am I?

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son…” (John 3:16)

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10 – NASB)

God the Father and Jesus love me so much that the Father sent His Son to die on the cross for me and Jesus willingly went to the cross and died for me. He took my punishment. "Fear has to do with punishment" (1 John 4:18); He took my punishment! He loves me! He loves me A LOT!!!

Where is my fear? It is swallowed up into insignificance by the greatness of God’s love! I don’t have to pray a selfish prayer in hopes of protecting my ego from embarrassment; I can pray that God would glorify His name by showing me more and more of His love. As that prayer is answered my fear becomes less relevant as His “perfect love drives out [my] fear”.

So my prayer is no longer “let me not be afraid” but “let me see Jesus”.